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R. Lee Ermey As U.S. Press Secretary


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AdminG
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R. Lee Ermey As U.S. Press Secretary
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2004 1:10 am

Subject: United States Marines In Action

   R. Lee Ermey, for the few of you that missed it, was the host of The
History Channel's Mail Call and played the D.I. in the movie Full Metal
Jacket.  R. Lee is a retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant and a very plain
speaker as you will soon read.  So, for your entertainment, here is
Retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee Ermey at his first press
conference as U.S. Press Secretary.      
   The main topic of discussion is the Marine in Iraq who shot the Iraq
insurgent to death.  We pick up as the reporter asks about how this
potential war crime will affect our image in the world:  
   Ermey: "What kind of a pansy-assed question is that?"  
   Reporter: "Well I think...."  
   Ermey: "THINK, nancy boy?  Get this through that septic tank on top
of your shoulders moron, I DON'T GIVE A F*CK WHAT YOU THINK, DO YOU
UNDERSTAND ME???  That Marine shot an ENEMY COMBATANT SH*THEAD, SO GET
YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND DEAL WITH IT BEFORE I MAKE YOU MY OWN
PERSONAL PIN CUSHION!
Next question.  You in the blue suit."  
   Reporter 2: Don't you think that the world's opinion of our
operations is important?
   Ermey: "Oh sure!  You don't know the times I have cried myself to
sleep worrying about what some g*ddamned French pansy thinks!  Oh the
days I have had to weep because some sh*t eating terrorist f*cker might
be mad at us because we went into whatever god-forsaken hole in the sh*t
that he lives in and killed him.  WHAT THE HELL KIND OF DUMBASS QUESTION
IS THAT YOU PETER PUFFING JACKASS??  WE ARE THE MOTHER F*CKING USA, AND
WHEN YOU ATTACK US WE ARE GOING TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND BLOW YOUR
STINKING CAMEL-LICKING CARCASS INTO PIECES SO SMALL WE WILL BE ABLE TO
BURY YOUR SORRY ASS IN A THIMBLE!  
   I know what you are thinking.  You are probably afraid, thinking
that I have such an extream attitude and that I need to be more
sensitive to other people's feelings.  WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING
YOU POLE SMOKING PANSY!  I DON'T GIVE 2 SH*TS WHAT YOU OR ANYBODY ELSE
THINKS!  THIS IS A DAMNED WAR, AND IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THAT YOU SHOULD
GO HOME AND SUCK ON MAMMA'S TIT!!  DO YOU HEAR ME YOU RUNT??  NOW GET
THE F*CK OUT OF MY PRESS ROOM BEFORE I GO CRAZY AND BEAT THE LIVING SH*T
OUT OF YOU! Next question, you with the ugly assed tie.  Look at that
thing.  It is hideous."  
   Reporter 3: "Aren't you going against the freedom of the press
by..."  
   Ermey: "FREEDOM??  WHAT IN BLUE HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT FREEDOM?  I
HAVE SWEATED MY ASS OFF IN JUNGLES BEING SHOT AT FOR THIS NATION!!  WHAT
IN THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE YOU LITTLE SH*T SUCKING WEASEL?  WHEN WAS THE
LAST TIME YOU PUT YOUR ASS ON THE LINE FOR ANYTHING?  AND YET YOU HAVE
THE UNMITIGATED TEMERITY TO SHOW UP HERE AND MONDAY MORNING QUARTERBACK
THE ACTIONS OF A MARINE WHO WAS DEFENDING HIMSELF AND HIS UNIT FROM
ATTACK BY SOME MURDEROUS AL-QUEDA SYMPATHIZER!!!  YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I
AM CONCERNED ABOUT NUMBNUTS?  I AM CONCERNED ABOUT A BUNCH OF
GRABASSTIC, DISORGANIZED MORONS WITH CAMERAS AND MICROPHONES DOING THEIR
BEST TO PORTRAY OUR BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN AS WAR CRIMINALS!  I AM
CONCERNED ABOUT CHICKEN SH*T PANSIES THAT WANT US TO NEGOTIATE WITH
TERRORISTS AND THEN WHINE ABOUT THEIR PISS ANT "FREEDOMS!"  
   Reporter 3: "I..."  
   Ermey: "Did you have a big bowl of stupid for breakfast this morning
numbnuts?  I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD OUT OF THAT COMMIE CRYHOLE
IN THAT SH*TPILE YOU CALL A HEAD!  AND THAT GOES TRIPPLE FOR THE REST OF
YOU PANSY-ASSED MORONS!  NOW GET THE F*CK OUT OF MY PRESS ROOM BEFORE I
SHOVE MY BOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS THAT YOU CHOKE TO DEATH ON MY
SHOELACES.
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spacelord
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2004 2:42 am

If only real life was like that. That would be great.
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Snafu
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Re: R. Lee Ermey As U.S. Press Secretary
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2004 3:59 am

I want to read the rest of the meeting!!!! please, please, please
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Re: R. Lee Ermey As U.S. Press Secretary
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2004 5:50 am

Good ol' Gunny giving pansy asses what for. Ooh-rah! DI
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Vulcan
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Re: R. Lee Ermey As U.S. Press Secretary
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2004 10:48 am

ROFLMAO

Awesome post!

Vulcan Pilot
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Dave Thorson
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Re: R. Lee Ermey As U.S. Press Secretary
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2004 10:52 am

I think that is just what America needs, right now is a good dose of Gunny.
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Sin Khan
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Re: R. Lee Ermey As U.S. Press Secretary
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2004 12:08 pm

Get Some! Too bad we don't have the audio version.
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Arclight
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 16, 2004 12:33 pm

That 110,000% friggin ROCKED!!!   "Did you have a bowl of stupid for breakfast!?"   Oh man I love it!!
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Motor-T
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Re: R. Lee Ermey As U.S. Press Secretary
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2004 10:52 pm

Damn I am pissing my pants here.

G we need more!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Re: R. Lee Ermey As U.S. Press Secretary
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 1:31 am

Army     What he said....
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River Rat
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2005 9:20 pm

That was hilarious! Give Ermey cold coffee for breakfast to get him in a bad mood and sic him on the ACLU! Fighters
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ILikePIE
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, 2005 12:53 am

Gunny says it right
Quote:
WE ARE THE MOTHER F*CKING USA, AND
WHEN YOU ATTACK US WE ARE GOING TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND BLOW YOUR
STINKING CAMEL-LICKING CARCASS INTO PIECES SO SMALL WE WILL BE ABLE TO
BURY YOUR SORRY ASS IN A THIMBLE!


anyone want to bi*ch about it
Quote:
WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING
YOU POLE SMOKING PANSY!  I DON'T GIVE 2 SH*TS WHAT YOU OR ANYBODY ELSE
THINKS!  THIS IS A DAMNED WAR, AND IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THAT YOU SHOULD
GO HOME AND SUCK ON MAMMA'S TIT!!


GO GUNNY
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ArmyGun
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Re: R. Lee Ermey As U.S. Press Secretary
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, 2005 2:17 pm

That was hilarious G !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Carl / AG Army
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, 2005 8:07 pm

oh the....
[q]WHAT
IN THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE YOU LITTLE SH*T SUCKING WEASEL?[/q]    and.......

[q]I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD OUT OF THAT COMMIE CRYHOLE
IN THAT SH*TPILE YOU CALL A HEAD![/q]


oh man....my head hearts from laughing so much....
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 2:28 pm

Thank you, that made my day :)

That was great!!!!!

More!!!!
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